Tuesday 21 May 2019

Guest post: Duncan Wu (2 of 2)

'Nisbet’s unbuttoned translation is the inspiration for my Punk adaptation of Martial', writes Professor Wu. That adaptation follows, below.

Up to a certain point, it's recognisably our ancient original - that same Issa poem as last time. The rest, I reckon Martial would have secretly liked. I bet he hated that dog, deep down.

--

Who scraps harder than Catullus’s badass
Sparrow? Who’s purer than Milton’s impreg-
nating dove, hotter than the Flying 
Scorpion, pole-riding Empress of Lap-
land, swankier than a faceful of 
The wildest beluga caviar? Yes,
Issa, that darling lapdog of Publius.
She yelps with the acid tongue of silver-
Palated Demosthenes on the 
Humiliations and ecstasies of 
The canine condition. And when she needs
A piss, lovely Issa, the sheets remain spotless; 
She raises her snout from her pillow, gazes
Deep in his eyes, scrapes his cheek with her
Crusty pawpads, and croons. What a bitch!
What a lady! What a gal! As modest, 
Becoming, and virtuous as a nun, 
The demure canine debutante tucks her tail 
Round her privates, snarls at the sausage-hounds
And growls from the depths of her guts—faithful 
Only to Publius.
                              Besotted, 
He yearns never to lose her, so creates
Her hologram, her mnemonic, her specter,  
Closer to Issa than Issa herself.
It wolfs down its supper, then passes gas, 
It pants and it drools, it eats its own ass
And consumes his soul. Eyes only for it,
He casts off the real thing, locks her out of
The house, surrendering instead to her 
Icon. It compels, it enchants, it leads
Him a dance, it fills him with bright shining 
Light; it feasts on his liver, sucks his brains 
From his nose, drains his white blood cells right out of 
His toes. 
              Next day comes Carmen, his 
Filippino factotum, who finds his corpse
Crumpled in on itself, a crispy husk 
Of dried-out, brittle, inert human crackling, 
While the mechanic image of Issa 
Squats over him, snuffles, squitters and snorts.
It wolfs down its supper, then passes gas, 
It pants and it drools, it eats its own ass.

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