Monday, 25 January 2016

3.95: Naevolus — so stuck up

You never say 'Good day!', Naevolus, though you always say it back. Even crows croak it first as often as not. Why must you wait till I've done it, Naevolus? Please explain: because I don't see you as a better man than me, or more senior. My reputation's earned me bounties from the Caesars, ex- and current, and they've awarded me the rights of a father of three. All kinds of people read me: fame's made mine a name to conjure with across the civilised world, and I didn't even have to die first. And here's another thing: Rome's seen me tribune; the seat I sit in, the usher's turfed you out of. At my prompting, many are now made citizens by Caesar's gift; I doubt you can count so many slaves. Then again — you take it up the arse, and you've a cute way of shaking it. You've got me there, Naevolus; you win. Good day!

Friday, 22 January 2016

2.68: quitting the rat race

I call you by your actual name these days, and yes, I used to call you 'lord and master'; but please don't think I do it out of spite. I cashed in all I had, and I'm my own man now. 'Lords and masters' are for men who aren't their own; who share those lords' and masters' same addictions. Can you get by without a slave, Olus? Then you can get by without a master, too.

Wednesday, 20 January 2016

Reddit AMA

I'm doing a Reddit 'Ask Me Anything' this afternoon at 3pm (GMT) - OUP have set it up as part of the push for the World's Classics translation. It's my first time on Reddit, so I'm a little nervous. The URL is:

I'll post back later on how it went.
[edit] It went really well! (insofas as a newbie can judge)

Lots of questions, really keen people. Here's the link, touch wood:

(The 'I am...' blurb, btw, is OUP's.)  

Tuesday, 19 January 2016

2.67: Whuzzup?

Every time you run into me, Postumus, the first thing out of your mouth is 'Whuzzup?' It's like your catchphrase. Our paths cross for the tenth time in an hour and it's still, 'Whuzzup?' I get it, Postumus —nothing’s 'up' with you.

Friday, 8 January 2016

Martial: the rap

I am extremely fond of this:


Your chest, your legs, your arms you pluck them. Youve a ring of stubble round the base of your cock (which you shave). You do it for your girlfriend, Labienus; we all know. So, who are you waxing your crack for?