2.26: stringing along a greedy legacy-hunter

Naevia struggles to breathe. She has a hacking cough that sprays phlegm in your lap. And you think you're onto a sure thing? You've missed the point, Bithynicus: Naevia isn't dying, she's leading you on.

The greedy legacy-hunter, solicitously paying court to the elderly and sick (and childless) in the hopes of a generous bequest, is a fixture of Roman satire; Naevia knows exactly what Bithynicus is up to, and is milking the situation for all the attention and goodies she can squeeze out of him. The player, played.

2.60: coitus intersectus

You’re fucking the wife of a tribune, Hyllus my boy — a man who wears a sword to work. You think the worst that can happen is he’ll make you his bitch. I wouldn’t want to be you. There you’ll be, balls-deep, and he’ll lop it off. ‘But that’s against the law!’ Come again? What you’re up to, Hyllus — is that within the law?

2.25: Galla's a tease

You never put out, Galla; but when I ask, you always say you will. If you’re going to keep lying, Galla, I’ll start asking you to say ‘no’.

My fifth OUP blog post

http://blog.oup.com/2015/12/martial-epigrams-roman-food/

Martial 1.91: pushing back at a critic

You don’t publish your poems, Laelius, and still you pick at mine. Publish or stop picking.

Martial 2:8: the trouble with copyists

If odd things in these pages seem unclear, Reader, or don’t read like proper Latin, I’m not the one who goofed: your copyist screwed them up as he rushed to hit his line-count. But if you think he’s not to blame, but me… well, I shall note your lack of taste. ‘But they’re bad.’ Tell me something I don’t know! Yes they’re bad, but I don’t see you making better.

Martial's epigrams - a YouTube playlist

My video interview for OUP World's Classics, in suitably epigrammatic snippets:

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLY2GBapteg3nSigwX9KOzBb4YFYnGeYQ6

Some versions by Ian Dudley

The poet Ian M. Dudley has done a couple of versions of Martial using mine as a starting-point - I really like them:

http://www.iandudley.net/2015/10/a-fight-in-phone-box.html

My fourth OUP blog post

Abruptly cut off from his fix of boy-kisses:

http://blog.oup.com/2015/11/martial-epigrams-love/

Last week's OUP blog post

http://blog.oup.com/2015/11/martial-epigram-priorites-owc-reading-group/

The greatness of the city lies in its amenity; in how it facilitates civilised living. To the city eternal, the city of friendships, where ideas spark and life shines; Athens, Rome, Paris, and wherever you yourselves may be, then, now, and forever.

Martial 1.90

I never used to see you in company with men, Bassa; the gossip never gave you a lover. Instead you were always surrounded by women, a mob of them. They did everything for you; no man got close. And so, I admit, I took you for a Lucretia: but — shock, horror — Bassa, you’re a fucker. You dare set cunt to cunt, and your mega-clit fakes manliness. You've invented a crime against nature worthy of a Theban riddle: ‘There’s no man here — and yet, adultery.’